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So be it.... and just let it be

Nov. 16th, 2008 | 06:04 pm
mood: bitchy bitchy
music: Christina Aguilera - Fighter

Seriously, I dunno what's going on with people's mind. Some of my friends turned to be really, really disgusting and somewhat unbearable to me.
A friend... pissed me off when we met again after being separated for a while. I mean... he was the one who asked for a meeting, we met, and then he pissed me off... what kind of jerk.
And the other one... I dunno what to say about her case. Since she 'offends' me bit by bit. Unlike the other one who quickly pissed me off, well... quickly and was like deep, straight, and full power kind of thrust. She was like scratching me bit by bit... and now I feel more than just "irritated".

The story comes up later... I have to go now =3

Is it jealousy...? or simply my own insecurity?

Sep. 29th, 2008 | 02:33 am
mood: anxious anxious
music: Bloc Party - This Modern Love

Today... for the first time he named another girl that not from any anime.
She's his friend, and well... I know (or at least, this is what I try to believe in) that he's just introducing his circle, his friends and so on... so I can understand him and his life better.
Still, I couldn't help it when I feel some sort of pang on my chest. It felt like being strike for over and over again. Well, she's a pretty girl with a nice body and seemingly a nice personality as well ~.~
I couldn't help the thought of being unworthy mixed with sheer jealousy and some insecurity rushed in as well. I started to think if he thinks quite highly of her... then our relationship shouldn't have to be here, no? I mean, why bother trying something with someone unknown out there if there's a better choice within arms reach?
I didn't (or maybe just haven't) told him about this, he has some other more important things to be done and think about rather than dealing with my own personal emotion.
*sighs* shikagatanai na~~~~
Tags: , ,

I feel relieved

May. 10th, 2008 | 03:16 pm
mood: content content
music: Ant and Dec - Falling

Today, I got a fight with a friend, and caught me into a batshit mode :p
Well, actually I don't want to disturb him since he's not in a
good condition and I don't want to disturb him. He's sick and he has to
sleep! Well... but he forced me to speak it out, and yeah, I feel
better and relieved just by talking to him ^^
Weird... since I was in my batshit mode... and even refuse a voice
conference invitation. (sorry guys... just not in proper mood) Well, it's
true... I was not in my proper mood, so I don't want to ruin other's
happiness by being gloomy and looked like a sick flower among the blooming
But yeah, I feel relieved just by talking with him... he even inquired and
lured the subject out, and yeah... slowly I trust him more and more \o/
Yesh, I <3 him <33333333333333

The relationship between humans

Mar. 19th, 2008 | 02:06 pm
mood: anxious anxious
music: Shiina Ringo - Rinne Highlight

Humm.... the relationship between human is more than just the word
'complicated', it's not only delicate, but also very fragile. Like a thin
glass that easily breaks. Huwakakakaka.... tumben sekali saya nulis macam
beginian XD
Well... ini efek baca watashi no megane-kun, Nana, and Beck. Yang pastinya aku kebawa sama relationship diantara mereka semua. *sigh* Watashi no megane-kun... yah begitulah yah... mirip2 relationship 2 main characters di Goth. Tapi yang ini lebih lustful, passionate, plus, lebih ada sense of ownership ^^ "*I love you so much, that I want to kill you just to make you mine*." Bizzare Idea maybe, but it's also true at the same time.... I believe there are times when we want our special person to stay where he/she is and that is by our side. Ternyata, ada lagi relationship yang bener2 gila macam gitu di Nana. Well, I always know klo Nana and Ren aren't ordinary couple. But they're really in a yo-yo relationship. Something that even I never tried before!!! Strange enough... or should I say... the good thing is, that they seemed to have the thin red thread on their fingers. That's why they can return to each other's arm whenever they want to. But still, it's uber crazy for me... I mean, bayangin aja lah. Bener2 on-off sesukanya, and they easily succumb to each other that easy as well... Aku masih nggak percaya sama sekali bisa ada relationship macam begitu. Even though I think it's the best for someone like me, still... it's too painful for others. I might not understand a single bit about it, but if I think about others. Surely, they will find it queer.
Last... Beck, relationship antara Minami Maho ma Koyuki... I always
love this one, especially since I think Nana x Ren will be totally impossible for me because I couldn't and wouldn't be able to find someone like Ren (not only the way I wanted him, but also the way he wanted me). Sides, I also think that I'm more like Minami Maho XD
Yeah... I'm just as crazy and spontaneous as she is... and a friend ever
asked me, "so, you're looking for a plain, boring, and easily enslaved guy
like Koyuki?" XD LOL... what a question, nee? Still... I think Maho and Koyuki's naivety and innocence are what made them as they are now... But no... I don't want a plain and boring guy like Koyuki... maybe someone like Ren is more preferable XD Back to the current topic... about the relationship... it's not only hard to create, but it's just getting harder when we have to maintain that.... *sigh* Guess it's a common sense now XD
That makes me wonder as well... if there's someone who wanted me as Ren does... and he can make me want him as Nana to Ren... what will I do at that time?

Yatta.... new pet

Aug. 17th, 2007 | 05:27 am
mood: cheerful cheerful
music: Keane - Bend and Break